I have always been an overthinker. That has mostly brought me confusion, depression, and a feeling of being overwhelmed, often by imaginary scenarios and conversations. I grew up in a family of four in a small apartment with thin walls, often hearing my mother complaining about me to my father. For some of that I don’t blame her. Fortunately, she never found out about my driving the family car high on LSD while I was in high school (pardon the pun).

Hearing my parents talk about me in a less than positive way was a factor that led me to a heightened awareness of what I was thinking along with a tug of war in my head. I was always trying to discern the difference between what was real and what I was imagining as what my parents would be saying. The Thoughts in My Head denotes a healing vote of self-confidence in the way I am making a commitment to my own thoughts as a work of art.

In my twenties, influenced by my job as an art director in advertising as well as Jenny Holzer’s truisms, I began putting text on objects. They were sold at the Exit Art and The New Museum bookstores. The text reflected a message that was inspired by the object. For example, text on an iron said, “You can’t straighten out your life by ironing your clothes.” I silkscreened, “Put yourself in my shoes” onto socks. Boomerangs said, “I’d like to get rid of my insecurities.” And on my bathroom scale was written, “Meter of self-loathing.” 

After a while, I had thoughts that didn’t flow from an object, and so needed to be out there on their own. I began to think, well, using a painting as an object presents the words as “Art,” and that’s the context of how I wanted people to receive these words.

I further developed these text paintings at a Byrdcliffe artists’ residency in June 2011. Over the next ten years, the original collection of a dozen paintings grew into more than one hundred. The number of lines I’ve written is likely ten to twenty times more than that as I write constantly, sending myself notes on my phone. 

The Thoughts in My Head series exceeded my expectations—it has been exhibited at many art fairs and galleries, and held in numerous collections. VSOP Projects has represented the work since 2019. I was commissioned to create an installation of text from my paintings as a permanent backdrop to a rooftop pool in San Diego. With this work, I was hired to create a site-specific text-based installation for the lobby, hallways, bar, and elevators at Yotel, a hotel in Times Square, Manhattan.

I’m gratified in how the series connects directly with people and how it gives that little girl in me growing up great comfort to see how she was never truly alone; That there actually was a lot of humor lurking in her situation, which is so much clearer to me now.

Stepping back, I can see themes in my work—my insecurities about my body, my artwork, my abilities, and my place in the world. Some paintings refer to my relationships, to my family, to my work, and to the world at large. I posit perspectives about society that I feel we ignore. Some of the paintings are self-referential to the painting itself, using the painted canvas as a metaphor for art in general.

The ten-year period during which the work was made is also evident, with references to social media, NFTs, immigration, and the pandemic. I am aware that it is impossible for me to see all the messages that this series expresses to others just as it is impossible for anyone to see themselves the way others see them. I greatly value others’ interpretation and I’d love to learn more about my work from them.

Developing this series and my writing skills has also helped me evolve my other work. Most recently, I’ve worked with a figurative painter, Sharilyn Neidhardt, to create paintings for a sex doll named Skye Cleary, who I anthropomorphized as an artist and exotic dancer. Skye makes paintings to express her feelings about the emotional complexities that comes from a life that straddles the art world  and sex worker world. Sharilyn paints the image and I add text later. The visual and text combined posit an idea in each painting. For example, I added “I’m not your therapist” to Sharilyn’s painting of sexy, lingerie-clad young women to express that no matter what she does to earn money, Skye is a dedicated artist. I painted “There’s nothing I love more than having time to paint” over Sharilyn’s painting of a couple having sex. “I love the feeling of power” is painted over another canvas of a woman giving a lap dance. This body of work is more specific with a focus on the power of young women.

While developing this series, I’ve also ventured into the stand-up comedy world to sharpen my skills at writing humor. For me, stand-up comedy is writing without the artifice of the object.

It is very rewarding for me to see all my text paintings brought together in one book. I hope that people will find the paintings that resonate with them and know someone has been thinking what they have been thinking as proof that are not alone with those thoughts.